learning to let go

I totally thought I would be one of those fun moms who doesn't care if her kid gets dirty. And honestly, I never really worried about germs or anything of that nature beyond the initial "boil the pump parts before first use" type thing, and that was fine with me.

Then my kid got MRSA. And I turned into a mom who was scared of germs.

I'm really trying to let it go, though. She has to live, right? She has to learn and experience and get sick and be miserable in order for her body to continue to be able to recover... logically I know all of this. But it's still hard to not worry.

I'm getting better though. Lately all she has wanted to do is play outside. I don't like playing outside at our house for a few reasons (not germ related), but it's mainly the grass.

1) It is riddled with holes and bumpy areas from moles beneath the surface. I have hurt my ankle on more than one occasion just walking along and tripping (yes, yes, it was funny).
2) I use "grass" in a very loose sense, because mostly it's crabgrass and picker bushes that disguise themselves as grass so that when you're walking/stumbling/falling along, you end up landing in a picker bush and wanting to die a little bit.
3) Our neighbors have two huge Dobermans and we don't have a fenced in yard. I'm the biggest dog lover you'll ever meet but I do not want to meet those dogs for the first time in my back yard with my kid. No thanks.

I avert this issue by taking her to the park as often as possible and/or over to John and Debby's, where the grass is soft and not riddled with booby traps.

Anyway. Yesterday was one of those days where I was trying to get over my fears and I let Hannah run around in the back yard. I put some sturdy shoes on her and let her have at it.

She immediately ran over to a puddle and stood in it. *facepalm*


(For more photos, go to my Facebook!)

Then I stripped her clothes off of her and she had her first ever bath in the big tub. There was no time to clear out and fill the baby tub - it was bathe now or suffer consequences later.

And you know... it was fun. I let her do what she wanted, and she didn't hurt herself. She did eat some dirt but hey, that's par for the course right? She loved it... I may have created a monster. But it was good for me to let her do this too. She might be my delicate little flower, but she still needs to grow in the dirt. ;)